I have never posted anything sad in this blog. Instead, I have another hidden online diary which was never revealed to anyone, except for another blogger friend, who commented that what she read there was very revealing. Yes indeed… that secret diary stores my deepest, darkest private life and I only blog in there when I feel low and down.
Last night, I wrote something in there again, and that was the first post in 1 ½ years. I have not touched that blog for 1 ½ years. That shows how happy I was in the past 1 ½ years and 2008 was one of my happiest years.
2009 is full uncertainties for me. I will be losing everything that I have built up in the past 3 years in Shanghai. Everything seems to go back to square one for me… just thinking about this fact breaks my heart.
I guess I need to count my blessing instead of thinking about all bad things to come. 2009 has been tough for everyone given the current economic situation and I know a lot of people have lost their jobs. This is far worse than what I am going through now. I keep reminding myself of this fact that I still have so much to give and take, but sometimes, I just can’t help feeling down and low.
I hope God will give me the strength to be strong and to stay strong for the people I love. I pray that God will help me maintain the happiness that I have enjoyed, the money that I am earning so that I can continue keeping my family happy and less pressured.
To my dear friend Lydia… thank you so much for being there to listen to all my shits despite yourself being in a much worse situation than me. I think you are the first blessing that God has given me the minute I pen this post. I hope everything work out fine for you too and may God bless you!