Durex Play

Has anyone seen this and used it? Saw it at convenient store today and wonder what it was. Bought it, read it and found that it's a vibrating tool where both players can have fun. Seems like you need to put the ring around the penis and then insert into the vagina. Hmmm... have yet to try it, but sounds interesting. Not sure if it will work right for me and my Hubby. Hahaha!.

Will try... but maybe not tonight. Hehehe...

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China Wonder Cream

Please click on the picture to read.


For those who can't read chinese, here's the translation, translated by Nicole for me:

Aier Disinfector

• Kill Spermatozoom
• Destvoy HIV
• Disinfector
• Lubri cate
• Shrink Cunt

5 main professional standard, no side effects, you can trust!

Product inside vagina will have chemical reaction. Long term usage will not destroy the natural PH balance of the vagina and will not destroy the vagina self-cleaning capability. Will not irritate. Easily absorb, no need to wash. One time usage. No worry of side effects.

Instructions:

1. Open the plastic cover, take out the insertion device. Remove cap, squeeze out sufficient amount of cream and apply to vagina.
2. Use the insertion device to push the cream deep into the vagina.
3. Push in and pull out so that the cream can be fully pushed into the vagina for best results.

Note: The action of pulling in and out must be done concurrently.

OMG!!!! WTF!!!!

Lust Objectified

Holly cow!!! I was surfing for some ham sup stuffs again and came across Lust Objectified.

Take a look at this beautiful vibrator, NEA. Selling for 74 Euro... no joke!



And these elegant ones for 99 Euro.



Then this 18k Gold plated selling for 1,050 Euro!!! Wah lau eh!!!



And these pleasure beads... I have no idea how it works. Curious, curious....




Gals... see them all HERE.
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Neighbor Affair

Have you ever heard screams of your neighbor’s love-making session?
Well, a couple of weeks ago, as I was putting out some clothes to dry on the balcony. I was shocked when I heard a woman screaming in orgasm. It was really loud… and I mean LOUD!!! My actions of hanging the clothes were paused and my eyes widen. I was like… OMG!!!! The first thing I did was to continue to listen but there was just silent. I guessed she had had her time… kau tim! I quickly text my hubby to tell him what I heard. Hahah!

Yesterday morning, as I was lying in bed after the alarm goes off, I heard the screams again. It was not orgasm yet this time. It was the love making session. Wuah… I couldn’t help but continue to listen and chuckle in bed. OMG!!! This is so entertaining… too bad my hubby is still snoring away. He missed it again.

My friend who is staying at the same estate as me told me that the walls are quite thin, because his neighbors complaint of his television noise at night. I guess I have to be careful too. Hahaha!

The Edison Chen Video

Friends, this is SIBEH FUNNY!!! Min Hui shared this with me and I really want to share it with everyone.
For those who understand mandarin, turn on your speaker and laugh!!!

Edison Chen - Part 1

Edison Chen - Part 2

LAUGH!!!!
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The Ultimate Award

Thank you Elizebeth DL for re-awarding me the Nice Matters Award. Now I have 2 Nice Matters Awards. I will not re-award this back to any other person. Instead, I have created another award to be awarded to my my dear friends. This award is....

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I would to award this Ultimate Hamsup Award to the following bloggers:

Shopaholicfern: Thank you for all your interesting lessons and stories. Love them all!

Horny Ang Moh: Everyone knows you deserve this award... hahaha... you're the ultimate hamsup blogger.

Princess Eileen: Yes gal... I remember your hamsup-ness.

Maverick: I know you are hamsup. You have many dirty jokes in your blog... haha!

Kenny Ng: Though you did not publish any ham sup post, but you have given me many ham sup lessons too... ahem! Not physically la. Haha!

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What's your didi's shape?

Warning：This is a ham sup post. Those under 18, please do not proceed.

I have a gal pal, let's call her JJ. Few months ago, she met a guy man. She was really happy and I was happy for her though I knew she was in la-la-land... you know la... the highs of the graphs at the beginning of a relationship. I asked her to enjoy this feeling to the fullest now.

Last night, I had a chance to chat with her. I asked her how's things going. She told me she had it the first time with him after 4 months of courtship. So, I asked her how was the sex? She says it was great, but... there is a 'but'. But she didn't like the shape of his didi. I was like... HUH?? What's the shape of his didi??? It's very difficult to explain it, but I know what she meant.

She reminded me of another friend, SS. I spent a night with SS while in SG last year and we talked about sex and dick. SS complaint to me that her hubby's didi was in such an odd shape that she felt pain every time she has sex with her hubby. And as a result... she found someone else to satisfy her sexually. Don't be surprise. Her hubby is not an angel. He is those who fuck around and I don't see any reason why SS can't go fucking around as well. During that time, because we were chatting face to face, we used a piece of rolled paper to explain the shape of the didi.

I used Paint to draw out the skeleton of what we meant by the shape of the didi. Use your imagination ok... you can't expect me to draw the actual kukujiao.

You see, when a didi erect, it goes up. Some didi goes up in a direction facing the body. This is the shape of majority men's didi. During a missionary sex / love making position, this shape does a good job for our mei mei.

Some didi's shape when erect is facing the opposite direction away from the body. According to SS, her hubby has this shape and it is painful for her during missionary style. But it is very shiok during doggy style. Wah... don't ask me, ok.... I have no comments. I pun tak tau. Hahah!

Oh... on another note, I was chatting with a friend this morning and we were talking about TFK. I remembered my first bf told me that the first time he TFK, when he cum, he got so scared cause he thought his kuku rosak. LOL! What was your first TFK experience?

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High or Hai

Last night, I took 4 glasses of red wine while downloading songs from internet. I got so happy to have found those songs that I love so much... now I can save them all in my iPod and listen to them anytime, anywhere.

I got sooo happy. I guess it's not only the songs that I downloaded which made me feel that way. The wine effect had me going crazily happy. At the same time, Dear Hubby was crazily watching season 1 of Boston Legal. He was laughing mad at that show. God knows how many episodes he watched yesterday. Did not even wait for me.

It was 11.30pm. I told Hubby time to go into the room and I asked him to continue watching in the room. He asked me what songs have I downloaded. I gave him my iPod while I go brush my teeth and prepare to go to bed.

When I went into the room, Hubby was happily listening to those songs and he gave me the thumbs up sign saying 'good song'! I went to grab the iPod from him and said: Aiyah... you go watch your legal battle la. I wanna listen to my songs. I think Hubby got shocked that I grab it this way.

My Hubby says (in Cantonese): 你醉了。
Me: 醉你的头！
Hubby: High了。讲high话。
Me: Of course 讲 hai 话了。Cannot be 讲 lan 话，right?
Hubby: Hahah! Really high liao. 讲 hai 话。

I think I really a bit high la... was basically talking hai language... Kekeke.

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Life is like a Vagina

Life... is like a vagina.

You don't know what's inside until you explore. But then, there's only so little you could see. The rest... are unreachable.

created by me, because I am too mou-liu.

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We're bitchy, but we aren't sluts

This morning, via, MSN, my friend told me of this story of a girl, someone whom I know during school. She has a rather interesting story. Her bf, loved her so much that he is willing to work more than 1 job to give her a better life. But she didn’t appreciate it and went f*cking around. She even slept with her good friend's hubby, her colleagues, her suppliers, etc. In the end, her bf found out and threw all her belongings out of the house, including her! I guessed at that time, there's nothing she could do or say to get her bf to forgive her for all her wrong doings.

Then I asked my friend, how could she do this, and even if she really couldn't resist all the lust and loneliness, don't go do it in the same small town that everyone knows everyone else. In the first place, if you know what you're doing is wrong, don't make it so obvious la!

My friend said something interesting. She said that her (the Girl) bf has to work more than 1 job, and he couldn't spend much time with her. So maybe she didn't get enough loving and went out looking elsewhere. But what she didn't realize is that she has that love all the time... and she didn't appreciate it. I told my friend that my Hubby is also away from me all the time. But I didn't feel the lack of love from him. And I don't go sleeping around when he's away.

My friend answered: You're different. You're not the bitchy type. She is. She's worst than us.

Worst than us? How can we measure the level of bitchiness? Is it how horny we are? How much we gossip? How much bad stuffs we talk about others?

Well, I personally don't think that she's worst than us. I think we're all equal. We're all horny bitches. Just that we aren't sluts like her. And we definitely won't sleep around with our friend's hubby.

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What will YOU do?

Me and Shopaholicfern has been doing this survey for some time. So, we hope to get more answers especially from guys.

This scenario is more for married and attached guys. We need sincere answer based on your current situation. Meaning, if you have gf, or if you are married, this will be your current situation. Of course, if you’re single, this scenario is meaningless.

Imagine this:

There is a new gal in your office. Pretty, sweet, hot, friendly. Both of you can get along well. You like her personality. You always try to catch a glimpse of her whenever you could and noticed that she is always looking at you as well. Each time your eyes locked, she will smile the monalisa smile at you. You think she likes you but could not be sure and you just tell yourself don’t be ‘perasan’ la.

One night, after a company gathering, you and another few colleagues went to a nearby pub to have a drink. She sat beside you and you somehow feel glad that she is sitting beside you. Both of you chat. As it was getting late, most of the other guys went home, leaving only you and her in the pub. It was a normal and fun chat. Both of you kept looking at each other and you really enjoyed her company. Both of you were attracted to each other. You somehow think that if you are single, you will probably go after this gal.

Suddenly, or very naturally, she puts her hand on your thigh.

Guys, at this moment, you could have her if you make a move as well.

So, what will YOU do?


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Hot & Sexy

I Love Jolin Tsai!!!
I think she's really sexy, great body, beautiful hair... everything beautiful. I just love her!!!

Just watched her concert on TV. She's so beautiful....

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Size Really Does Matter!

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I was inspired by QQAlice's post on 'Does Size Really Matters?'. It reminds me of a secret that my 'onced' very good guy friend told me.

I used to have a close guy friend who likes me a lot, but he is quite a show off because his daddy is very rich. So, I didn't end up with him because of his childish attitude. One day, he told me a secret. He told me that he has a very small 'didi'. I asked him to show me, which he did. It was really quite small even after erect. Short and thin. I think it was just like the size of my index finger. Wah... lucky I didn't end up with this guy.

He told me that his ex-gf complaint that his 'didi' was too small and that she can't feel anything when they had sex. He told me that there was once when he had sex with his ex, when they were done, he pulled out his 'didi' from her 'mei mei' and realised that the condom was gone!

OMG!!! I said how can that happen?? He said it must have slipped out when he was busy pumping. Then I asked him what happens next? He told me that he has to put his fingers into his ex's 'mei mei' and search for the missing condom and he eventually found it.

OMG!!! First time I heard of such incident. My jaws dropped! Wow... size does matter! Else the condom also can slip away. Phew! Lucky he found it back! So QQAlice, size really does matter!

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Of Shopaholic and Super Horny

Muahaha! I am so glad that my Horny Gal Fren - Shopaholicfern has finally decided to blog! This is the super horny gal that almost broke her vibrator cord and had taught me quite a number of mind blowing sexual positions! Muahahaha!!

This is Super Horny Shopaholicfern. Mysterious leh?

It’s good to have this kind of gal pal whom I can learn from and share my experience and secrets with. It’s a good release coz I cannot disclose too much in blogsphere.

I really enjoy listening to her sexcapades. Hopefully, she will blog about her sexual encounters. Hahaha! Read her blog about a sex simulator… a life sized vibrator!!!! Wah lau eh… hopefully I won’t turn my blog into a hamsup blog. This few days keep blogging about vibrator and feeling horny at work. KNN!

Shopaholicfern, if you’re reading this, you better not influence me too much. See now I’m so into getting a vibrator… my hubby also wanna pengsan liao. Hahaha!
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Update...

Warning: This is a completely GROSS post.

Ok, many friends are asking me about my vibrator. For your info, I have not purchase any vibrator yet. There are 2 ways that I can purchase it;

1. Go to any sex shops and just get one
2. Purchase online from Taobao store.

I prefer online purchase so that I remain anonymous. But I was out with my friend last weekend and we were talking about it again.

My friend asked me: "What if the vibrator is used? How would we know?"
Then I answered her: "Before you use it, you smell it first la"

WUKAKAKAKA! Bloody gross! We were laughing like mad and she dare me to smell it first to find out if it was used. Chiu!!! I told her I dunno how a used one will smells like. Should ask our husbands to smell it, right? WAKAKAKAA!

Another friend asked me, "Can get in China?" Well, for those who don't know, there are many sex shops in China. Not those lousy sex shops we see in KL, ok. The shops in Shanghai sells really, really geng chau sex toys. Here are some examples:

1. Fake cunt, even with bulu.
2. Woman's head with mouth open for blow job simulation
3. Fake cunt with SM undies
4. Fake 'belakang' with hole, of course
5. Fake breast for tit ride simulation
6. Life size woman doll - all in one with open mouth and fake cunt and the back hole.
7. Life size penis
8. Life size men with penis

All the toys damn pin thai until I feel embarassed in the store. So... better buy online. All the above can be purchased on China's leading ebay store - Taobao.com

So.. be patient. Don't ask me about the vibrator. I will try to post an entry on that once I bought it, ok. Now still discussing with my gal friend on how we can purchase it. We want the toy to be sent to our office so that we are around when it was couriered to us. But we are also afraid that the packaging may be so outstanding that everyone in office will know what we have purchased. Shy la... hehe.
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Feeling Sleepy

I am feeling sleepy now. I just joined another new company and this time I will be involved in their Asia Pac rollout project. So this should be a more challenging job to me that the previous job. My boss is not here this week so all I can do now is to read some documents relating to the projects. Boring!

I installed TOR on my Firefox, hoping that I can bypass the firewall and able to read and comment on blogs. But somehow, I can't get it working right. So now I can only surf blogs through anonymous sites and thus, cannot post comment. The cycle begins again. This company also blocked MSN chats but thank God I can still go into www.meebo.com. I can still chat. I hope they won't detect this and block that site. Else I will jump off the roof. Life is nothing without chats and blogs, right?

Today, I also wore the wrong baju to work. It's getting cold in Shanghai and I only wore a short sleeve top with a jacket. I took off the jacket in office and felt cold. But when I wear the jacket, I felt too warm. Damn! I went up to the 2 receptionist and introduced myself coz I wanted to know their names. One of them is called Echo and another called Kaka. I think she must be laughing Kakaka everyday and then the other one will echo her. Funner.

Oh, I am trying to get a dildo / vibrator. The type for sexual pleasure, not the type mentioned by Kenny Ng for construction purpose. Not that I cannot get satisfaction from my Hubby, but I am curious. Never use those before and my girlfriend told me about the different sensation between the small, lipstick type and those big, cock-looking dildo. She told me that the big ones are not so good because the one she used, the electric cord almost broke! Hmm... maybe too mind-blowing sensation until that happens? So I thought I wanna try. Kekeke.

Ok.. just a short update to keep me awake. Now gotta go back to reading boring stuffs. Somebody help me!!!
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Did They Do it for Real?

Since I was at home for 3 days, I dig out some old DVDs that I bought and didn't have time to watch. I was watching a Korean movie, I tell you, the girl damn chun and the guy damn cute and fit body. This show damn a lot of sex scenes. And those scenes are so real!!!

This is not the first time I've watched a show with sex scenes and continue to wonder if they are doing it for real.

I just wonder...


p/s: Please dun think I am that ham sup and purposely go watch porn at home alone. Just so happened that this show has many this sorta scenes. Never thought it was a Korean porn in the first place when I bought it.

When the Itch Hits

Elizebeth DL's post made me wonder today. And it was another wandering thought of mine, as usual. I tend to think too much. During the weekends, I asked my hubby the following questions:

Q: If you have another woman out there, will you let me know?
A: No.

Q: If you have another woman, will you divorce me?
A: Yes.

His reason for the second answer is that, if there is a second woman in his life, meaning that we are having problems in our marriage. Thus, no use being together anymore.

I don't agree to what my hubby says. Sometimes, it doesn't need any flaws in your marriage to start / have an affair out there. It can simply be the KKJ itchy and cannot resist the temptation or the seduction out there. Most men will stray once they become rich. Sad but true. Those girls also prefer men who are successful and rich and mature. And most of the time, successful, married men fit the description. It's truly sad, because all the results of the hard work from the wife when they were poor and struggling, the fruits are enjoyed by the other women out there.

So, I sometimes have wandering thoughts of what I will do if something like this happened to me:

1. Sign a no-contest for child custody before the child is even born. This will make sure that I will get custody to my children. Wonder if this works?
2. Be smart? – Keep quiet if I knew my hubby has someone else. Get a private detective to take all evidence and used that against him in future.
3. Poison him slowly. Put in some herbs into soups to make him impotent.
4. Hire a killer to kill the other woman? Or... hire a few a-char to rape her kau kau and beat her up.
5. Find a way to transfer all his money to my account.
6. Find a way to sabotage his career. No career, no more money. Woman leaves him and left him with nothing.
7. Find a bomoh and jampi him. Make him suffer.
   

Any more suggestions? I really think I am going crazy. Where's my stress ball?

Happy Merdeka and take a Kukujiao

Happy Merdeka!!! It's a very boring day today because I have to work here in Shanghai and everyone on my MSN list is offline. Not many KL friends to chat with and most of the blogs are on holiday too. Boring...

I went out with Ash for dinner today at DeMarco for Italian cuisine. While I was there, I took a complimentary magazine and have a look through. There was a page for learning Mandarin and Shanghainese language. It was a lesson for bargaining.

I learnt that if I wanna say: I'm just having a look

In mandarin it would be: Wo zhi shi kan kan (我只是看看）

In Shanghainese, it would be: Jiu ku ku jiao.

Now I know... I can proudly use this Kukujiao word in Shanghai. Well... take a closer KUKUJIAO!

BJ Mouth

Since I posted this entry stating that I have a sexy gal friend with a very sexy lips, or some people call it a BJ mouth, many friends started asking me who this gal is and whether I can send them her pic.

Well, my answer... of course NOT!!! She is my friend, and I'm not gonna disclose her like this. Else everyone will be referring to her as the BJ Mouth Girl!

Anyways... my gal friend really, has very sexy lips. Maybe something like Shu Qi's lips:

Or, our sexy Amber Chia:




Or, this Angelina Jolie's lips, mama-mia!!!:






But the star that resembles her the most, I think, is...

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TINA ARENA

Every single frame of Tina Arena reminds me of my sexy gal friend.
Gosh.... this really looks like her:



So... this is what my gal pal looks like. She looks like Tina Arena. And if she decides to send me her pic... I will post it up in my blog. Until then... she is the Tina Arena look-alike. Woo-hooo...

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