Me: Gimme some inspiration… I wanna blog.
Her: What inspiration? I am so down. What do you think?
Me: Why? Still thinking of him?
Her: Ya, a bit.
Me: Shall I blog about that?
Her: About what? My bastard?
Me: Hahaha…. Bastard.
She actually called him ‘Bastard’. What happened is that my friend just broke off with her ‘bastard’ bf. You must be wondering what on earth this guy has done that she called him that.
The story goes like this… My friend’s bf tells her that he will marry her in 2008. Then last year, when she started to talk about marriage, he gave her this answer: “如果你要我和你结婚，我情愿分手”. (“If you want me to marry you, I’d rather break off”). Girls… what do you think? Is this the sentence of a bastard? I got tulan when I hear this, I am sure my friend is really hurt when her bf tells her this. Funny thing is, he still tells her that he loves her and his actions tells her that he still cares for her. Selfish pig!Last Thursday, he accused her of having ‘feelings’ for her ex-boss, which obviously, it’s a long time story and this issue has never surfaced before. Because of this, they broke off. My friend thinks that he is just looking for some excuse to break off with her, which I think so too. Lame excuse indeed. Why can’t he just be a man and tell her the truth? Why need excuses for breaking off?
Now, the underlying question is that why some men are not willing to get married? I know a lot of debate and books have been written about this topic, and personally, I also know some guys who really do not want to get married. They just want to have a companion. But how many girls are willing to be that ’companion’; the person who is there for him, but who does not own any status or sense of security at all? Am wondering will there be any woman out there who’s willing to sacrifice this way for love? I believe there are, but I have yet to meet one. I definitely will not live life that way.
Why, why, why? Are these guys afraid of commitment, or lack of confidence in marriage, or just simply have not met the right girl? Is it because of family history, something that happened in the past that made them afraid of getting married and thus avoiding it?
I actually feel happy that my friend finally broke off with this guy, but I also feel sad that she is hurting. I hope she recovers soon and I am sure someday, she will meet the right person who loves her and want to be with her for the rest of her life.
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13 comments:
You are starting another philosophical discourse which is individuated.
There are just too many ways of seeing things and more often than not, marriage is like a licence that is necessary while the two person's is not ready to share the pain of partnership.
In partnership for life, there are many ideological issues such as, time and space for each other, and the definition of love, care, sharing, paying, cost, luxury, necessity, and such other things called joy, happiness and delight.
Marriage is nothing except a legal contract. Life goes on and problems never ceased. What is more important?
No one is afraid of marriage; but the fear of getting married and ending in trouble is far more insidious; like Nietzsche and Schopenhauer said: "Death is not frightening but the thoughts of death is the most frightening.
Maybe, that "Bastard" is facing this mental dilemma.
wait wait wait... what is this issue about feelings for the ex-boss being a long time story? need elaboration there...
some guys are really bastards..i hate them. no guts! canot ever own up to their own words. ur fren is lucky she realised the real him before marriage . so no worries. she IS blessed:)
that guy is a complete bastard!
it's good that they broke up..wut for waste her time on him?
i think guys who are "afraid" of getting married..is cos they still wana fool around..sleep with other girls..have the feeling that they can still break up anytime once they find another girl..irresponsible and selfish! blek!!
and..i agree with zewt..need more elaboration on that! ;P
The most bastard guys are those break up with the girl over a phone call. I call this kinda guy bohlanpa!
most guys don wish to marry because of commitments.
Mav: Marriage is like a step further into a partnership for life. Of course, it is full of hurdles ahead which both have to go through together. To me, if that Bastard is not ready for this, at least put it in a better way instead of saying such hurtful things to a lady. Truly a bastard.
Zewt: People talk abt one story, you asking another. I don't know about the ex-boss story. I guess its something that the bastard bring up just to have an excuse for breaking up.
Winn: I agree... it's a blessing in disguise. There are plenty of good guys out there for her to choose.
Huei: Agree. The longer time she spent with him, the more she is wasting her time. Better give the golden opportunity to other guys who knows how to treasure her, right?
Elizebeth: Ya.. guess what. That bastard didn't even say the word break up. Somemore he keep accusing her and I think he is hoping that she will be the one who initiate the break. Coward!
Woaychee: Sad but true... some guys really avoiding commitments.
I have to agree to all of you. He's a real bastard. Making it a shame to all the guys. Just say it if he wants a break-up, don't accuse your girlfriend for something which she has never done. I think your girlfriend should turn to tell him that it's she who wants a break-up. Stop wasting time with someone that gives you no future!!
Definitely not a man if cannot even tell the truth about breaking up and have to use a stupid excuse. Not everyone is ready for marriage, so if he is not ready, should never simply say wanna marry, its not a game. Ppl have expectations and feelings.
no, the question is... is it real? was there such a thing?
it may be a different story... as long as there is a story... it's a story.
Hard to answer the question. I juz feel shamed of your friend's bf. He brings shame to all men!
I oso got tulan on reading this
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