From my very own experience, 90% of my girlfriends faces the problems with their in-laws intruding into their marriage. The other 10% - I label them as real-lucky people! Simple things like which house you should buy, who you should live with, how to renovate your house, what to name your kids, what dates to get married... all these are what I meant by interfering and intruding. Hello?? Can't they see that it's our own fucking lives? Can't they just stay out of our lives? I have 1 girlfriend who is at the edge of divorce because her mother-in-law is indeed a monster-in-law and she is thinking of writing a book entitled "101 Ways to Kill My Mother-In-Law". Hilarious! I know 2 other friends who have divorced and the main reason started from their in-laws intruding into their lives. OMIGOSH!!! This is a serious problem!
I believe any couple in love can live a truly happy life together. Then things started falling apart with silly arguments of the slightest matter when all the in-laws like parents and yee-ma-ku-ceh comes bitching into our lives. They don't understand how difficult this made us coz on one hand, we would really like to please the elderly, but on the other hand, we also want to please our spouse and live the life that we wanted. This is a really tough situation to handle and I bet most of us here don't know how to handle such cases. Suggestions like 'Try talking to your spouse abt the issue' or 'You need to sit with your in-laws and talk abt your need for privacy' are all easier said than done. It doesn't work in an Asian world.
Being Asians, we must accept the fact that when we marry, we not only marry the person we love but also the entire family! Yes... the ENTIRE FAMILY! (geeezzz....this is a real scary word). It's something that we cannot run away from. For better or worse... it was meant for the entire family.
... as I was writing this halfway, something happened and I saved this as draft. Now, I have lost all my inspiration and have no idea how to continue or how to end this blog. So, can someone out there be kind enough and help me end this stupid posting. What do you think? In-laws: Are they Heaven or Hell?
11 comments:
for me, so far so good :)
i might stay with my in law... you're scaring me.
well, i guess in laws have their nightmare too, like having a really really selfish daughter in law..i know one who has that problem!
the daughter in law can't even buy her own breakfast/lunch/dinner, she doesnt work, all she does is take care of a baby, and can't even wash her own dishes!
the mother in law, who's not at a very good health condition, has to "fuk si" the daughter in law..haih
Nicole: So far, its good for me too. But i just cannot stand the mess when they come to my house, especially if there's kids involved! But it's always the case.
Zewt: It's not so bad for guys... really. Guys is more cin-cai. Girls more demanding. Most of the issues are daugther in laws with mother in laws. U'll do fine. No worries.
Huei: Yes, i understand what you mean. Sometimes the daugther in laws are too much. It is very kek-hei for the mother in law. Agree with you that it happens the other way round too.
I only see my in-laws once or twice a year, so, anything I also can tahan.
I guess I am lucky lah, my mother-in-law is quite a modern lady, she respects our privacy life very much. But she has a close friend, that I dont like. that auntie is very fake. I so scared she will come with her to visit me this year end.. trembling.
I guess when you marry a person now, u have to seriously consider the "whole package".
That's why matchmaking is so the in thing now. We do a family background check, ask about financial, characters, attitudes etc....
And also a reason why many people wanna stay single & have no strings attached.
I guess the evolution of the world is pathetic and getting so sad & depressing.
Aiyah Purple!!Don't dispire!!OK!!Got one trick for u to get 'rid' of the in-law. Do u have kid?? No?? In-law pressuring u to have kid correct? Then tell them to get lost & give u & hubby some privacy!!!If don't get lost, forget about having grandson. If got kid already, tell them u r now activetly doing its for the second kid. If they don't get lost, u will blame it on them if cannot produce kid. I hope this reason can be use but u need ur hubby support ( he have to tell his parent that u can't do it with them around ).Please remember that in about 20 years time u will becum someone in law also OK.
Deisy: Lucky you!
Princess Eileen: Background check? That will never be able to check whether your future in-laws will interfere into your life or not la! There's no guarantee in anything, including marriage!
Horny: Hahah! Good one! Can't use this trick though, coz me no intention to have kids yet.
If you read Tiuniahai, you know that my mum will turn into a monster to my wife if I didn't diu 9 7 my mum. That's why I jumped out and be the bad guy.
I just realised that it's good to be the bad guy in my case. When I diued my mum that time, my wife stopped me and pitied my mum. She even helped my mum to educate me, asked me to respect my mum and so on. My mum felt good when she saw all this. And they are now on the same side to against me, which I think it has very much lessened the pressure in me. I am a good manager!!
Tiuniasing: Your wife is lucky to have you!
phew!
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