Classifieds

I was at The Spot last week for dinner and I brought home one of the classifieds media to see what's actually inside. Well, lots of jobs and services and I found one very interesting section - Personals.

Ok.. call me 'sua ku' and I am sure there are such advertisement back in Malaysia and everywhere around the world but I just don't seem to care about these ads back home. But here, since I'm like darn free everyday, I browse through almost each and every single ad and took down some very inetresting ones.


Like this: Not beating around the bush and looking for sex partner:


Yeah rite... fat or thin. I bet if he sees a 100kg fat lady, he'd run away! And he is honest... haven't had sex in over 4 months! Haha! No wonder he don't mind a fat woman. Cheap bloke... looking for a free f*ck. Don't even have the money to go to a bar at any corner around Shanghai street to get a hooker.


And this woman is looking for a German Sausage:

SAP consultant somemore... please la... Thank goodness not an Oracle Consultant. Else give us a bad name!


Then there is this Korean bloke who posted his pic:

Poor guy. He sounds sincere la. Maybe he is truly lonely here in a foreign land which he cannot speak and understand the language. But just wondering whether this is the right way to meet someone special??


Then this one lagi keng chau: Looking for someone to go Thailand to F*ck.

Must apply like a job, and must send photo somemore. Of course la.. all expense paid trip to Thailand. You cannot be fat like the first ad.

Then there is this very pretty gal with her pic:

She's looking for female for language exchange programme. Either this is a truly genuine ad, or she is a lesbian.

I am very much tempted to send them an email just to test on their response. Should I, or should I not?

Happy Merdeka and take a Kukujiao

Happy Merdeka!!! It's a very boring day today because I have to work here in Shanghai and everyone on my MSN list is offline. Not many KL friends to chat with and most of the blogs are on holiday too. Boring...

I went out with Ash for dinner today at DeMarco for Italian cuisine. While I was there, I took a complimentary magazine and have a look through. There was a page for learning Mandarin and Shanghainese language. It was a lesson for bargaining.

I learnt that if I wanna say: I'm just having a look

In mandarin it would be: Wo zhi shi kan kan (我只是看看）

In Shanghainese, it would be: Jiu ku ku jiao.

Now I know... I can proudly use this Kukujiao word in Shanghai. Well... take a closer KUKUJIAO!

BJ Mouth

Since I posted this entry stating that I have a sexy gal friend with a very sexy lips, or some people call it a BJ mouth, many friends started asking me who this gal is and whether I can send them her pic.

Well, my answer... of course NOT!!! She is my friend, and I'm not gonna disclose her like this. Else everyone will be referring to her as the BJ Mouth Girl!

Anyways... my gal friend really, has very sexy lips. Maybe something like Shu Qi's lips:

Or, our sexy Amber Chia:




Or, this Angelina Jolie's lips, mama-mia!!!:






But the star that resembles her the most, I think, is...

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TINA ARENA

Every single frame of Tina Arena reminds me of my sexy gal friend.
Gosh.... this really looks like her:



So... this is what my gal pal looks like. She looks like Tina Arena. And if she decides to send me her pic... I will post it up in my blog. Until then... she is the Tina Arena look-alike. Woo-hooo...

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Chicken Rice in China

I received this email from a friend and I'm not sure if it's true. But this is sure scary!!!

Early dawn, starts the day by riding around to collect dead chicken.

Asking around for dead chicken

Total of 5 riders are hired by the boss to farms to buy dead chicken

A dead chicken cost 1 RMB and would be sold at 9 RMB after processing

Storage for the dead chicken in the court yard

Carcasses are thrown everywhere

And on the floor....

4 employees start de-feathering the dead fowl after soaking in boiling water from a rusty wok

Enduring the pungent odour, but sometimes, it gets so terrible that even the most experienced of the workers would puke

Workers rushing to get the chicken de-feathered

A discarded bath tub being used to soak the bare skin dead chicken ... the contaminated water would have accelerated the decomposition process

After the colour dye, its creepy to find that they are quite tenderising

And now presenting the mouth watering Charcoal Roasted Chicken!

Politics, Relationships, Sex & NPL

Last night, I was chatting with a 3 friends online, with 3 interesting topics.

First friend was asking me to go yellow this Friday. I asked him 'Why?'. He pointed this to me. This article was bloody panjang cerita. I lazy to read it especially if it has anything to do with my country's politics. I am not into politics and I don't really care. So, I told him: Nah... I'm in Shanghai. It doesn't matter what colour I wear on that day, coz we'll be singing Negaraku anyway for the Merdeka Dinner organized by the Malaysian Association in Shanghai.

When I said this, this funny friend of mine started rapping Yo! Yo! Yo! HELLO DUDE!!! We will be singing Negaraku, the original Negaraku, not the remix version! I love my Negaraku. Don't insult my Negaraku, ok! And I'm not gonna wear yellow!!! I'm gonna fly my national flag above my head!!! And that's what I'll do! YES!! MERDEKA!!!!!!


Second friend is going away for a while and I was telling him to take good care of himself. Then the conversation somehow took us the relationship topic. I always tell my friends to take it easy, that it's all fated, when you're destined to be with the person, you can't run away. That's what I told this friend of mine.

This friend, has all the good qualities that a girl usually looks for in a lifetime partner. Hmmm, and girls always think that all good guys are either taken or they are non-existent. Well, girls... I can tell you now that good guys does exist!!! And he is SINGLE and AVAILABLE!!!! Anyway, I hope all goes well for this friend of mine when he's abroad, I wish him well, and may he find the love of his life! (which I believe he will, and it's just a matter of time) So bro, no hurry ya... when the girl comes, she comes. Then it'll be a whirlwind that you can't even stop it!



My third friend and the most interesting topic: We talked about sex. My friend is an interesting gal, very attractive and cheeky gal. My brother once commented that she has a very sexy mouth, and he meant dirty, sexy, BJ Mouth!!! Haha!

This gal friend has many guys going after her, and I told her that its good... many choices mah, coz you're sexy & attractive. Then she mentioned.. “yeah.. sexy BJ Mouth... Damn! The next time I see your brother, I'm gonna lick my lips!” Gosh!!! My friend, if you're reading this, please don't break his dick, ok! My brother is a shy guy.

And so... two horny gals with their horny chats until my hubby came home. It was pretty late then and I told my gal friend that I gotta go sex my hubby up now that he's back. She gave me the “Go! Go! Go!”... and so I went to seduce my hubby.



Ah... as I was all geared up for the right stuff, my hubby started laughing and said: “NPL la” Nia sing! Potong steam! NPL = Non Performing Lanjiao. Seems like my Dear Hubby had too much alcohol last night, cannot perform. Who says after alcohol still can do it??? KNN!

I am a JOKER!

I am back in Shanghai. I felt dizzy now.. but I still wanna write this. Thank you everyone for your comments of the previous entry. To answer the question posted by The Reviewer, I hate going to US because I hate the long hours flight. I will fall sick. Happened both times I went to the states. And I hate the way the immigration and customs officer interogate me ... why are you in US? How long will you be here? What are you doing here... WHY??? WTF??? Why I cannot be in the US?? You think I really wanna come into your country meh? Tiu!

And to answer all of you who says that I have a fun job travelling... come... I switch job with you lor. I have been travelling for the past 6 years of my life and I am sick of it! I want NO MORE travelling!!!

My Hubby scolded me. He says: "Next time if you are sick, and you don't wanna travel, just tell your boss and insist not to go... don't go there then insist to come back the next day. So childish."

*** I am feeling very dizzy now***

I called Elizebeth DL. She laughed at me. She says the amount of time I spent on the plane is more than the amount of time I spent in the state itself, which is true. Elizebeth DL asked me if I am still willing to go LA in Sept. I can hear her hubby saying this in the background: "Better don't go la... else go there 1 day and wanna come back again"

Damn it! I am a joker... ain't this classic. Fly to US, spend one day in hotel bed sleeping, then fly back the next day. KNN! As if I have nothing better to do.

I felt bad after all the lecturing and scolding. Elizebeth DL says: "You don't have to feel bad. Your boss has to feel bad instead ... he knows you are sick and still wants you to go. It's his fault"

YES!!! YES!!! It's his fault. Not my fault. When you are sick, you just wanna be home and eat porridge and go to sleep. I can't have that in Arizona. So I need to go home. Not my fault.

*** Dizzy... I better go get some rest soon. I know, this is funny. I was wrong. I shouldn't have went there in the first place. Still.. it's not my fault that this happened.
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Phoenix, Arizona

Thought I'd post some pictures and updates before I leave this desert. I am heading back to SH tomorrow. Last night, I had fever and very bad gastric. I was already sick before I come here and have told my boss not to send me here. But he insisted that I still come and now that I am really, really, sick... I told him I want to go home. US CEO called and ask me to arrange for flights immediately. Thank God I can go home.

Before I leave... still managed to snap some pictures eventhough I'm in a not-so-good state.

I stayed at Holiday Inn. Here is the bedroom:


Bedroom is very spacious. As usual... American standard... everything HUGE!

There is a channel which shows nothing but CSI the whole day... from the very first season. Interesting.

HUGE bathroom...

HUGE bathtub with jacuzzi.

Then I took pictures out from my window:

Some signboards of available stores in the area... this is a pure desert. Cactus everywhere... like a cowboy town. I don't like it. And I'm staying in the suburbs. I can see like tiny buildings scattered everywhere... like a ghost town.

Some signboards to LA and to Phoenix city center.

Desert area... palms and cactus everywhere. Small buildings and large homes can be seen. It's 40 degrees out there even at night! Bloody hot... like a sauna.

So.. thats my very short encounter in Phoenix, Arizona. Time to go home tomorrow and I'm glad. My boss told me to get some good rest so I can go to LA in September for another trip. Damn!!! Why so much of travelling out of a sudden? I don't like...


Posted at Arizona time 9.42pm, Wednesday 22nd August, 2007.

All Set

As much as I hate travelling to the US, I have to go. So, I went home at 3pm today and started packing again. Guess I'm all set now.

I have some USD

I have my air ticket

My laptop and iPod Nano

All liquids and gels packed under 3-1-1 rule.

Just in case any of you didn't know, the TSA created these 3-1-1 rules which stands for 3 ounces or less, in 1 transparent bag, 1 bag per passenger.

TSA lock, specially created for travelling to and within US, DUH!!!

TSA locks are locks which the US security can open, just in case they want to check our checked-in luggage. So, either we leave our luggage unlock for them to open it, or use the TSA lock. KNN! The US made it so difficult for air travellers.

Novamin to make me sleep on the long journey.

Most importantly, my passport.

The current one and the expired one with my US visa in it.

I pray for a pleasant journey... and I pray I won't miss my connecting flight. Yes, I am a travel freak, especially to the US. I hate going to the US!!!

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Travelling Month

This month is full of travel. Last week, I flew back to KL, then to SG to attend a week long meeting, and then back to KL, and yesterday finally back to Shanghai.

Tomorrow at this hour, I will be at Pudong airport again... waiting for my flight to LA. Once I reached LA, I will transfer to another flight to be on my way to Phoenix, Arizona.

Damn!! I hate to fly to the US. This morning, I was talking to my boss and getting him to assign someone else for this US trip. But he insisted that I go.. KNN!!! This morning, I heard some 'news' that my boss wants me to go to San Francisco for my next trip.

Arrrgghhhh!! Why so much of travelling suddenly???? I don't wanna fly....

Happy Birthday to my GOOD PAL!!!

DEISY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

MAY YOUR YEAR BE

BLESSED WITH LOTS OF

LOVE, GOOD HEALTH, FUN,

LAUGHTER, AND WEALTH!!!!!!!

How it all started - A dirty joke

I have heard of this joke like 10-15 years ago, and it bloody classic and funny. It will be funnier if told in person with all the action, but obviously, I can’t do that. Still remembered we laughed till we cried when the guys told us about this on your group outing.

Here goes…

Long, long time ago, there was a very loving couple. Both husband and wife love each other so much that they were inseparable. Soon, they have a son. When the son is about 5 years old, the wife got very sick and died. Devastated, the husband cried and cried. He decided to take up a piece of his wife as remembrance, before her body was cremated. So, the husband cut off the private parts for remembrance.

Scene 1:

The day the wife’s body was cremated, the hubby was holding on to her private parts and cried… The 5 year old son came and asks his daddy: (you have to read this in Cantonese) “Papa, Papa…. What is that?”
The father answered very sadly: “Nia mah hai”

Scene 2:
As days pass, the private part began to rot. The husband has no choice but to place the part into a freezer, to prevent it from rotting further. The son, while looking into the freezer to look for ice-cream, ask his daddy again: “Papa, Papa…. What is that?”
The father answered: “Nia mah chou hai”

Scene 3:
Many months passed. The husband kkj became itchy. To avoid being unfaithful to his beloved wife, he didn’t go look for prostitute, but instead, he took out the private part from the freezer and started doing with it. The son, again, curious at what his father is doing, started asking: “Papa, papa… what are you doing??”
The father answered, breathless: “Tiu nia mah chou hai!!!”
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Singapura

Singapura.. Singapura... Ok.. stop. I am trying to sing this. Haha. My friend Winston took this photo last night with his Samsung phone 3.0 megapixel camera. Nice shot, so I guess I will post it up here.

We bought my cheena collegue to have some Indonesian food (ya... Indonesian food in SG, haha) then to Marina Bay and Esplanade, just to let him have a look at Singapura's landmark and the durian structured building. My cheena collegue was very happy last night. He wouldn't have known where to go if we have not brought him.

While I was in the taxi with the cheena, he mentioned to me that in Singapura, there are a lot of ERP advertisement. I was like... HUH?? Hello, fren! I mentioned to him that the ERP in Singapura stands for Electronic Road Pricing... not our IT Enterprise Resource Planning!!!

I pity him la... first time travelling out of Cheena. Thank God he comes to Singapura where he can speak chinese and everyone can understand him. Else.. very susah. Thats why I brought him out last night. Tomorrow, my gf is coming to visit me. I don't feel like asking my collegue to join. Lazy to entertain him la... tomorrow ask him sek chi kei... go makan sendiri!

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I am paying for this SHIT

I am now paying SGD8 for an hour of this internet shit. Bloody hotel does not include internet connection and I have to 'buy' an hour of surfing which costs me SGD8. Nia sing!!!

What is 1 hour when you are online?? All I know is that after reading a few blogs, 1/2 hour is gone, just like a blink of an eye. Babi!!! A lot of swearing here because I'm bloody bored in my very cialat Berjaya Hotel room. I decided not to go out to Orchard road as I'm darn sick of that road... each time go SG also go Orchard Road. While in Shanghai wanna eat SG cuisine also go to a restaurant called Orchard CRC. I am sick of the word ORCHARD!!!

Hopefully, tomorrow I have have some shopping fun at Vivo City, the latest, largest shopping center in SG. My friend Shirley will be visiting SG on Thursday and she will be staying with me. Thank GOD!!!

*COUGH*COUGH* Bagga shitty coughing still not recovered yet. Today meeting with client also kept coughing. But everyone seems to be sick in that meeting room. Everyone seems to be having fun coughing at each other. Cilakak!!! Like that how to recover?? Virus flying everywhere.

In a bloody swearing mood now. Just realised I almost cannot live without internet.

I WANT MY INTERNET CONNECTION!!!!! Kenny... I know how you feel now with your bloody internet down shits. Hahaha!
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...and I love Changi airport

Touched down at Changi airport last night around 6.30pm. I just love this airport. So much to see and shop!

My itenary for this travel was SH-KL-SG-KL-SH. Was back at KL last Friday and the first thing I did was to visit the doctor for my cough. I’m not sure what medication was prescribed, but it made me felt like a sick dog after eating it on Friday night. I felt terrible on Saturday and had to cancel my breakfast date with Princess Eileen and Kenny. Darn!! Sorry guys… I’m sure we will meet again someday ya!

I just felt really happy in SG. Not sure why. I stayed at the Berjaya Duxton hotel. This is a boutique hotel with pretty cool interior, but a bit rundown. I didn’t really like the condition of my room but thank God the toilet is very clean and good. I met up with my old pal Winston for dinner last night and we walked along Chinatown. Well, most of the goods sold there were made-in-China stuffs. Winston will be moving to Shanghai in Oct for work…Yay!!! Another Malaysian friend in SH!! I was asking him whether he is absolutely sure that he wants to leave this beautiful city and head to the very polluted Shanghai. Of course, the latter is more exciting and the pay is more attractive, else he wouldn’t make the decision to go. ;)

I have decided to tell my client that I have a 4pm flight to catch on Friday though my actual flight is 7pm.Wanna shop at Changi… Haha!

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The Regular

I see her almost every week, sometimes almost daily. Today, I saw her again and I managed to capture her picture.

She is the regular child beggar on Metro Line 2. This morning, she was kneeling, asking for donation / money from the people on the train. I wish someone or some authority could do something about these child beggars in China. This girl is supposed to be at school instead of doing this! I always wonder if her parents asked her to do this, or was she being sold away for do this job?

While I was returning home today, I saw her again! This time, in a different attire. Seems like she went home and took a shower cause she looks much cleaner in the evening. Didn't manage to take her picture this time. I saw her knocking her head to a girl's leg... begging for money. Then she did the same to another guy. So far, I didn't see anyone donating anything to her. Maybe this is too normal in the chinese daily routine. I pity this little girl.

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Karaoke Fun

Since Elizebeth DL blogged about it HERE, I think I should too... but with pictures, hehe. OK, here's the story. We were hooked to Karaoke. We went to Party World for 2 consecutive Saturdays in a row, coz its bloody cheap also la. Don't get it wrong. Cheap doesn't mean lousy karaoke. This place is like a hotel!!! Bloody huge!

Last Saturday, me, Elizebeth DL with her bui bui, Eric and Cecilia, we went to sing again. Here is a picture of Eric.



This guy can be Jay Chow, Jacky Cheung, Harlem Yu, Ah Niu and so on .... He is GOOD!!! Bloody GOOD!!! I asked Eric why he doesn't choose to become a singer, he says that he is not good looking enough. Cheh... many good singers aren't good looking also ma. Right? I also asked him if I can post his picture on my blog, whether he wants the eyes to be covered or blanko. He says it is ok. So, here is another pic:

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Aiyor.... Eric... why la you. Spoil your good rappo. I just trying to take your picture and you show me the middle finger?

After all the singing, we decided to bring Cecilia to Nanjing Lu, Pedestrian Street. Cecilia is Malaysian too, but she works in Beijing. We walked to Nanjing Lu and on the way, we saw a dead rat on the street, and also an old ah pek in nothing but boxer shorts. Summer also dun have to be so obscene la. I didn't manage to take his picture because it was drizzling and my phone was in my bag. But I did managed to capture this:


Malaysian restaurant. Halal. But... tutup pintu. Closed down liao. Haha!

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It's Friday Again!!!

Yes... and ain't I glad! I'm glad that the gwai lous are all gone now. No need to entertain them for lunches and dinners. Phew! And now, I have time to read blogs and blog.

It has been a very tiring week. Meetings whole day, preparing slides and presentations. Urrgghh!!! For some reason, I really don't enjoy sitting in a meeting and hearing people do 'political-talks'.




Today, I would really like to talk about my Cheena CEO. I have 2 CEOs.. one from US, and another is a Cheena. The cheena is really a clown. He can't speak english, and while he is trying to 'communicate' with the gwai lous, I thought he was really a joker the way he tries to express something, and he has zero manners. He just barge in and out of the meeting room every now and then, and knocking down the electric fan, having his handphone ringing and not answering or getting to it quickly... oh dear.. come on! For God's sake... turn off the bloody handphone or put it in a silent mode la!!! The customer CFO was speaking in front, and the cheena handphone rang so loudly that the CFO stopped and looked at him! And the cheena was still taking his sweet time looking at who's calling him and .... sigh... I don't wanna eleborate!

Then, on dinner / lunch table... oh gosh! All the cheena attitude surfaced. He used his chopsticks to dig into those dishes.. urrghhh!! Ewww..!!! Totally no table manners!!! Use the spoon la dumbo!!!! They don't put the spoon there for nothing, ya know! I saw the gwai lous don't dare to touch the dish that he went digging his chopsticks into. As if there's gold inside that he wants to dig. *Faint*Faint*

I really malu to have this kind of cheena CEO. Thank God the US CEO is a gentleman. I really don't freakin understand... why is this clown appointed as the CEO here. We don't have any china customers. We are serving 100% foreign companies. Why do you need a clown here????